Dropping off your grown-up child for the start of university may not induce as much anxiety as leaving a toddler in daycare for the first time.
But it’s still a big deal for parents – and understandably so.
Many parents made the trek to campus last week to help their sons and daughters settle in before classes start Tuesday. They also attended Parents Tent, where McGill staff offered insight into what to expect during their student’s first academic year at McGill and how parents can support them from near and far.
Parents can help their kids make the transition to university by encouraging them to become involved in all aspects of student life and learning, says Christopher Buddle, McGill’s dean of students.
“Academics are very important, but there’s more to it than that,” he says. “I think parents can encourage their students to seek out the resources before they’re going to need them.”
Find out where the academic advisors and health services are located, for example. “If students are able to get a good understanding of the resources before they need them, it’s really, really going to help longer term. And [also] help their student develop their network at the university, because that’s their home now.”
And if your child gets a C in their first semester, don’t hit the panic button.
“You know what, it will be OK,” Buddle says, counselling students to talk to their advisors and professors, and perhaps look into a tutorial service.
“Just be supportive without being accusatory,” Buddle suggests to parents, “because everyone’s in the same boat, and so many students will struggle at one point in their academic careers. It’s very normal and everyone needs to sort of recognize that.”
The McGill Alumni Association hosts Parents Tent in late August to welcome parents of first-year students to the McGill family and to showcase the many resources provided by McGill’s Student Services.
This year’s turnout was even higher than usual with nearly 4,000 parents registered for the three-day event. Their cities and countries of origin reflected McGill’s global reach. In addition to Montreal and other cities in Quebec, they came from places like Oakville, Vancouver, and New York City, along with India, China, France, Switzerland, the United Arab Emirates and many other countries.
The big white tents on lower campus buzzed with activity as parents checked out the information booths.
“We’re happy to meet other parents and especially to visit the premises and meet students, too,” said Virginie de Turenne, from Paris, who was there with her daughter, Pénélope, who will be majoring in cognitive science.
The information sessions included tips for international parents, a session focused on commuter students, an overview of McGill’s counselling services, and details about student aid and award opportunities.
Buddle, who co-hosted a session on “How to Support Your Student”, says “parents also have to play this balance between being supportive and also letting go.”
Both have to happen, but it takes time, he adds. “It’s more a matter of those support networks being there at the critical stages.”
Bob and Jennifer Abrahamson from Newtown, Pennsylvania, sat in on a session presented by Leslie Copeland, McGill’s first-year coordinator. The couple’s son will be studying anthropology at McGill.
“Well, you know, we’re nervous, but it seems like there is a lot of support,” said Jennifer Abrahamson.
“It was good information,” her husband said.
Campus Life & Engagement, McGill’s first-year office, has an outreach program, which starts contacting first-year students in the fall.
“We start phoning and saying, ‘Hi, how’s it going?’ And we try to personalize this big institution,” Copeland says. “And [students] get taken a little aback: They say ‘you’re calling just to see how I am?’ Yeah, that’s what we’re doing.”
When she talks to parents, Copeland asks them to remind their sons and daughters about the Campus Life & Engagement office.
“We always ask parents to be our ambassadors,” says Copeland, adding parents know their children best.
“So if they’re talking to them and they know their voices are off, they’re not sounding like themselves, they can say ‘hey, go see Leslie or Campus Life & Engagement.”
The commitment they make to first-year students, Copeland says, is “if you come to our office, we either know the answer or we know who does.”
Parents are welcome to attend Homecoming Celebration Weekend from Oct. 12 to 14, along with thousands of McGill alumni. They can also attend the events organized by the McGill Alumni Association’s many active branches anywhere in the world. The McGill International Parent Community on Facebook is an enthusiastic and supportive community of McGill families, always ready to answer questions or share insights on campus life.
